Simple Times by Amy Sedaris doesn’t teach you how to knit wool socks for your grandmother or weave dream catchers for your cat. It’s worse, much worse. Instead, as Sedaris says, it’s a book that lets you make crafts and still get laid! Instructing how to make decorative stars out of marshmallows and sparkly toothpicks, a Doll Wig Door Knob (not surprisingly, out of a doll’s wig) and a Shepherd’s Beard out of hair collected from your hairbrush for six months, Sedaris' first foray into crafting instructs you how to make a bunch of crappy crafts that your cat and your grandmother won’t even want. It's hilarious. You better go get it.